Closing of A Special Month

Alright! I got it all wrong at the end of the day. And that's seriously not surprising at all, considering how unpredictable TPO can be at times. So there was no night's off afterall, that to harbour the hope of booking out on Monday was actually a plain mistake! Shouldn't have even thought about it! Shouldn't have anticipated or even expected night's off to be given! It's afterall a privilege and not an entitlement right?! Arghz. I guess even though I'm inside for more than a year now, I still cannot understand the workings of the TPO. If one looks at the situation logically, what for hold back the remaining 9, 10 people when almost three-quarters of the battery isn't present! It's like due to Ops, half of them had already booked out while a quarter is still out there performing duty. And those that booked out would be booking in at 2230, the standard same old timing for booking in! It's not like night's off has a different book in timing right?! Hence it obviously makes no sense if the claim for not allowing us to book out is because there's standby the next day, coz if that's the case, then shouldn't the others book in earlier or something?! It's just plain unfair and dumb. Arghz.

Rattling aside, though I've been in there for only 3 days, I seemed to have perspired more than what I had done so in the past 2 weeks. Lol. The weather was just plain horrible. The sweltering heat and the extreme humidity combined together can just make one get a heatstroke easily man. It's simply way too hot! Basically it's finally time for us to do standby. Thus we were all taking over stores as well as ensuring that our stuff is well prepared so that in case the divine red button is being pushed, we would be more than ready to move out. Doing all these on the wide parade square that is made out of nothing except bitumen, I'm sure that temperatures were hovering around 34 or 35 during the afternoons alright. Thank goodness most of it is done already. So I'm expecting slacker days ahead, while praying hard that no activation will ever happen! Haha.

And so April has come and gone by. Quite fast I must say, considering this is a special month which holds a special date whereby so many special things have happened over the past years. Lol. That sounded real cheesy. :P But yeah, this year's one was good all the same. So I guess with May coming by, a new mission set out by me, to learn how to be a happier person. And I so will give my 100% effort to achieve it. Lol. Well, I'll try my best. For now, I seriously wish to play Patapon. It's just so cute and fun and addictive. Lol. PATA PATA PATA PON!!!!! :D

Attaining Contentment

Arghz. Got addicted to Prison Break, and so have very little time to blog now. Lol. It's like 7pm, and I haven't had dinner, and I seriously need to get packing to prepare to book in, once again! Oh wells. Watched first 2 episodes of Prison Break only, and I really just don't feel like stopping! Wanted to convert them into suitable playback formats for my little Zen Vision, but oh wells! The conversion rate is seriously sloooooow! Took like 4 hours just to do 1 DVD. Forget it. Might as well just wait till book out again then watch. Lol.

So anyway, I actually have loads to say. But then, with regards to the serious lack of time in such a circumstance, I gotta really cut it short. Hopefully, I'll have nights off tomorrow, so that I can continue with my gibberish! Lol. Anyway, was saying yesterday that I have this new mission about wanting to be happy! Yup, read it from RD, and it has loads of food for thought. Indeed, to begin with, I gotta learn to be contended. I think it's really going to be hard, especially since, and I don't know why, that I seemed to have become more and more of a materialistic person. I have so many WANTS now that I just can never seem to be satisfied. I'll just list a few here:

1. PSP (I just want to play Patapon! Lol.)
2. New computer with advanced specs!
3. Books, airplanes related. (Cost a bomb, $300+!)
4. Table lamp with airplane rotating shades. (Seen in flightplan)
5. ITouch
6. Loads of money for my trip to Europe and US and Canada next year
7. More money for my planned party next year

Ok. And the list seriously goes on and on and on. Lol. Tell me I really need to be contended with what I have now. Kae lah, some like number 1 and 5 is not really necessary. But then there are some that are seriously wish to acquire. Hai. One is never satisfied with his current status right?! Oh wells. Lol.

Kae then. I really need to get going now. So I'll have to abruptly end my post here. Shall talk more tmr, hopefully. Till then.

Incoming Mission: BE HAPPY

I've got a new mission to accomplish! I want to be HAPPY!


It's going to be tough but I'm gonna give it my best shot! To begin with me learning to be contended!

Happy 20th Birthday!

18th April, the date that always has a special meaning to me. Funny it may seem, but I somehow just feel extraordinarily excited whenever this date arrives. Lol. Obviously it's my birthday, and I guess birthdays, or rather, my very own, is extremely important. It's quite significant, isn't it, to have completed another 365 days of life and turn 1 year older again. Furthermore, this year feels so much different. This year is the year I turn 20!! Feeling real old now. No more a teenager, and the adolescence stage has ended as well. A young adult now. 1 year left before officially becoming an adult. Wah...

Celebration seemed rather long this year. Lol. Coz as usual, since I'm in the TPO, and 18 falls on a Friday, there was a likelihood that I might not be able to book out and celebrate my birthday. Coupled with the fact that Ops was still ongoing, and that I may be landed in a shift whereby I would have to work through the weekends. Thus, it was a lot of early celebration at the beginning. As usual, my family never fails to help me make my birthday a joyous occasion. Celebrated on the 13th, we went to Sakura for a good buffet dinner first. Then, feeling so bloated, went back home to cut my birthday cake. The cake they got me this year was so huge, my parents were actually having a hard time trying to fit the box into the fridge. Lol. Imagine a circular box of diameter, around 50cm. It's a rather unique cake I must say, for it was in a shape of a star!(Reminds me of **uan, *uan!) So yup, was a happy boy after the making of wishes and cutting of cake.

Coz I took half day off on Monday, so met up with the signallers in the morning for lunch, before booking in. Went to Coronation Plaza, had simple lunch of Ke Ai Ji. Haha. Then they went to Mad Jacks and get like 4 pieces of choco madness cakes. It's really nice of them lah, the thought that counts. Went back to bunk, sang bdae song for me, and then enjoyed the cake. My fellow GAs, got me Jay Chou concert DVD. Haha. I guess they think I listen to a lot of chinese songs, so just got me something related. Alex said he wanted to get me some airplane model, but couldn't find. Ha, it's alright man, thanks all the same. :)

And you know how depressed I was after that? The first bad news I got was that I have to do guard duty. Which meant I only had like 2 hours in bunk to slack, and then got to change for the non-sensical duty. The next blow I got was my shift. Went to check out my shift for Ops, only to realise that I have to do from Friday to Monday! Thankfully, after much pleading with my upstairs, they were really nice enough to change for me. So I got to do on the weekdays and book out on Friday! Nice!

And so, for the rest of the week, was basically draining myself with the on-coming Ops duties that I have to carry out. Furthermore, coz I was to do the night shift, hence I was basically zombie-fied by the time my last duty ended on Friday morning. But of course, on my last night, I seriously did not sleep at all. It's like constant excitement in me that never cease to fire. Ha. Was beginning to receive sms-es through the wee hours of the early morning, as well as a call from YYY somewhere in the middle of the night. Thanks man, YYY, it's really sweet of you to call me and like relief some of my boredom that I otherwise would probably have drowned in. Haha. Yup, it's really a different way of wishing me happy birthday and so I truly appreciate it! :D

Ok, so Friday did came, with me sleeping most of the afternoon away. I was really groggy and shagged out while on the way home from camp. Tired! Went to town to meet up my family for a true celebration. Ate Ding Tai Fung, then Swensons. Blew a ice-cream cake! Truly 20 years old! Ha. Yup, quite an enjoyable day afterall.

Anyway, people I want to thank for remembering my birthday! Xin Yu was the very first to message me! OMG! Sent on 00:05:41!! Nicholas was next. And then Bernard, Vivien, Pamela, Justin, Zong Yi, Andy(78), Mother, Sister, Huiwen, Gloree, Zeying, Jason, Steph, Wee Min, David, (I must say David is seriously so not orignal!) Huimin, Isabelle, Andy(BMT), Father, Weixuan, Glenn, Delin and lastly, Darius. Ah wells, feel so loved! Lol. Of course, thank my fellow GAs and Signallers too, Alex, Kenneth, Ivan, Kok Wai, Nicholas, Xin Ming and John for remembering. And then Ilham and the MP who was doing duty with me through the night, was trying to do something for me but couldn't find anything to do in the end! Lol. And Andy, thanks so much for trying to come up with a last minute dinner, proly for me and David. But then again, I thought it was really too last minute lo, so nvm la! It's the thought that counts man, and I truly appreciate that.

And Vivien! Thank you so much for the birthday letter! Ah, I guess I'm feeling as touched as you are when you had recieved my bdae card to you. Lol. It was a really sweet letter, like it a lot! And yup, it's true that we haven't met up for the longest period of time! So hopefully, after your exams, we can get in touch real soon. Probably to celebrate Steph's bdae as well. Haha.

Oh wells. A good day to remember! I'm a happy and fortunate boy now! :)

120408 | 1 Year On

12th April 2007, the very date I got enlisted into National Service. And then in a flash, 1 full year, or rather, 366 days to be exact, has passed by. Today is the official day I become a 1-year soldier. Then again, to say time has passed by so fast, it isn't really like that kind of lightning speed fast. Sometimes the seconds can crawl real well, and it gets onto my nerves more than anything else! But of course, it isn't that slow either. Coz till now, I cannot fathom the thought that I'm truly a 1-year soldier now. 1 full year inside TPO. Oh my...

I can still vividly recall the day I got enlisted. Like some pumpkin knowing nuts about the TPO, I was simply like every other recruits around me, nervous and unsure of what to expect from it. Furthermore, I would have to go through a confinement of 2 weekends inside there. It's not like I've never been away from home for so long, (Taiwan Immersion Programme200518 days) but the fact that I'd be chucked out from the civilised world for 16 long days, and that I'm not going to the island for some form of holiday or relaxation. It's because of the uncertainty, the unknowning, that results in the anxiety built within me.

And so, I was naturally just dreading the entire ordeal of enlisting. It started off quite alright, having my parents beside me, giving me some sense of security. Then upon reaching the island, we have to separate to different routes instantly. I tell you, I swear that the butterflies in my stomach must have enough strength to force it's way out of my abdomen! Lol. Anyway it's like from there, I was waiting to get to the auditorium, while my parents were having tours of my bunk and stuff. Sat at the holding area, looking around at the people who seem like future army mates. Got to know that I'd be going to Falcon Coy, but unsure of which platoon I'd be in. The wait was horrible; wild thoughts of what's going to happen from there keep running through my mind. I just felt like I was at the brink of exploding! Lol.

After like what seemed to be aeons, we were all ushered into the auditorium. That was when I reunited with my parents again. Lol. The swearing in ceremony took place, and after that, everything seems to happen so fast. Dinner, which didn't last long, and before I could even jolt myself to reality, I was actually bidding farewell to my parents. That classic moment's still fresh in my mind alright. At the entrace of TFT, my mother was like, "Huh?! Leaving now?!" and she immediately burst into tears. I was totally shock and at a lost of what to do as well. All I could do was to comfort her and assure her that I'd be fine.

Hence, their departure marks the start of regimental life for me. Well, it wasn't that bad afterall, as I must say that at this point in time, I would still choose my BMT life as the most memorable time I had have throughout this entire 1 year of service so far. I even recall how, before enlistment, I would be going out with Zong Yi to train for it. First was the Safra gyms, then the membership expired so we just head down to Bukit Gombak Sports Complex gym. And I guess the training didn't work well for me as compared to Zong Yi. Lol. Coz I was still a zero-fighter when enlisted, but he could like do a dozen pull-ups! Come to think of it, BMT was rather difficult to go through for me coz I had loads of problems on the physical aspects. Must be the reason that I didn't manage to go to command school. Lol.

Oh wells. There were regrets, but it's more or less over now and of course, have moved on long time ago. Down to 10 months more before the date to be operationally-ready arrives. Within this period is a schedule full of even more hectic activities to be carried out. At least I've finally cleared my IPPT and got a GOLD for the first time! Hooray. No more IPPT for the rest of NSF life. Ha. But still, there's SOC, ACCT and Shoot. Then there's more standby, OPs, SAF day, NDP, bty exercises, bn exercises, India. Oh man, the list just seems never-ending. Oh wells. 10 more months. I know I can survive this last 10 months! Till then, then!

Hai...

The feeling of liking someone, but not being able to have that someone, simply sucks!

The Power of It All

Many a times, things just don't seem to go the right way, or rather the way we wished it to go. And thus, feelings of disappointment, despair, hopelessness, etc., occurs in our mind and begin taking roots. As time goes by, with greater undesirable situations happening upon us, the trauma that results futher compells these roots to sink in deeper. It starts to affect the mind, the soul, as well as the overall emotional well-being of a person. The consequence is of course, defective most of the time. With all these unhealthy flows of emotions running through our mind and soul, we tend to lose faith in almost everything easily. Worries, anxieties or fears that we self-induce enshrouds our daily lives even though they may be non-sensical and absolutely unnecessary. Pessimism thrives, and when we begin to ponder about the purpose of us living on, we have already reached the stage whereby we are actually placing our own life in grave danger. Finally, all thoughts and emotions become too overwhelming for us to handle with sanity. The stress that has accumulated within us through this entire period reaches its maximum threshold. Every logical reasoning breaks down, and we simply just snap! The outcome that ensues is often unthinkable.