Today, I stepped on the stage, once again!

It felt real good today, to be standing in front of an audience once again and perform for them! It was a short lunch time concert that was conducted in NIE. Purpose? It was actually my final assessment for the unrestricted elective which I had picked up at the start of the semester; it's called Percussion II, because in the previous semester, Percussion I was already conducted. Hence, with just a small class size of merely 20 students, coming from very varied backgrounds, we performed 4 percussion ensembles together! I guess the concert went through quite smoothly overall. No doubt there were some minor mistakes made by players, including me, but I believe in the end, everyone sure did a great job!

It's just so amazing! I've got to really thank Darius for helping me to get this elective. I missed the audition for this class, which was conducted during the first week of school. Back then, I remembered myself frantically seeking for another elective to cough up sufficient academic units (AUs) for this semester! I was trying desperately to get Business Finance, but to no avail. Thus, I thought about doing an unrestricted elective, and decided to go with this percussion module. It was only then that I realised Darius was already in it, and being Mr Nice Guy, he helped me loads, by emailing the tutor and getting another audition arranged for me! Which in the end wasn't really much of an audition! Haha. Coz all I did for it, was walked into the room, wrote down my particulars and also 'Piano Grade 8' for music background. The tutor then came by, browse through what I've written, and said, 'Alright! Piano grade 8. You passed the auditions!' LOL!

And then amazingly, 10 weeks of lessons have passed by so quickly! I guess I will miss this class quite a lot! It's really a very relaxing elective; 3 AUs worth, but only 2 hours a week! On top of that, no tutorials, nothing much to study. It's merely just taking out some time to practice, and as for the rest, it's plainly just having loads of fun, making music once again, especially after leaving the band scene for close to half a decade! Seriously, what more can I ask for? (Hopefully an A for this elective! Hahahahahaha!) The tutor, Mr Lim, rocks too! He's extremely patient, very dedicated, and at the same time humorous. I like how my friend describes him, occasionally he's an adult, and yet at times he behaves like a child! Also, I'll most definitely miss all the new friends I've made. There's especially this bunch, really funny people that will just bring nothing but never ending laughter to each and everyone! Reminds me a lot about old band days! It's a bit too short I must say, having only 10 weeks worth of time to come together to make music! Hopefully there will be future opportunities for us to work together again! :)

Knowing I have worked hard practicing countless number of times, it was awesome to be able to stand on the stage once again, bearing that strong feeling of confidence believing that I will deliver a good performance to my audience! And sure enough, I believe I have done so! Haha. Though there were minor mistakes here and there, I'm glad to know that in the end, the audience were delighted with the performance. It just makes you feel that all the hard work you have put in has paid off. Coz after all, a performer is seeking nothing more than just merely hoping his work could bring fun and joy to the audience! Rah! All this talking really is building a brand new desire in me to join band once again! Haha.

Alright then! This surely has been a very enriching, entertaining, and extremely enjoyable elective! Hopefully I'll be able to get another one as fun as this one next semester! Haha. That's it for now!

D=

While walking back home today, I noticed that the evening sky was an exceptional light blue, with puffy little white clouds dotted it. Flowers of all sorts of radiant colours bloomed along the path which I was walking; must have been due to the long and heavy downpour this morning. I felt a slight cool breeze brushing across my face, smelling the wonders of nature and its beauty. It was so pretty; full of lightness, full of optimism; there was simply so much life in it! Yet sadly, my heart was the exact opposite; hard, cold and heavy!

It happened about 2 weeks ago, again! The sudden plunge into nothingness, the feelings of being lost totally; it all surged right upon me at one go. My mind went astray. All kinds of thoughts keep flooding through. It's like I had lost all sense of control, failing to stop the negative thoughts from coming through. In that way, I sank deeper. I had no strength to fight back, thus allowing these thoughts to just manifest in my mind. I felt absolutely horrid and miserable.

I told myself, it's just a phase, and hope it'll go away soon. Meanwhile, all the symptoms were exactly the same as the previous times I experienced this. I particularly took note of one of it, which was not being able to sleep well. I would just wake up suddenly in the middle of the night, and then have difficulty going back to sleep. That made me real crappy the following day. I also tried to find out what had caused this. I felt that I was perfectly normal before it happened. Hence, there certainly must be a trigger point for which I would sink into this crap once again right?

I honestly hate this! It's so psychologically draining, as I have to struggle to keep myself from going crazy. Have to keep telling myself to stay optimistic, to only have positive thoughts, to not let the negative ones conquer my mind. It was a constant battle for my consciousness, for I fear that the moment I slacken and allow myself to unwind a little, all this crap would return instantly to haunt me again. It sucks, so much so that I wish to just give up. But I cannot do that right? That's just not me. I have been living with this all the while, and each time it has happened, I managed to overcome it and be back to normal. So how can I just choose to give up now?

Hai. So 2 weeks have passed, and yes, I'm much better right now. It's just that now and then, these heavy feelings of misery will set in, just like now. Oh wells. What more can I do? All I wish is that after this is over, I hope it will not return in a long time to come.

I just want to be normal and optimistic. So please let me.

HARK! 2010

Was totally awesome!

I'll continue to blog about this on Tuesday! Just leaving a 'bookmark' here first. I so need to mug now! :x

IPPT!!! :x

I've got that dreaded IPPT tomorrow! The worst part is that I'll be attempting it without any form of training! :x Sounds like total ggxx to me!

I'm not asking for much! Just hoping to be able to pass!!! Of course, garnering a silver will be an added benefit! :)

I so should go and sleep now! Goodnight!