Hitting Rock Bottom

Never expected this very emotion to strike at me once again. It has been such a long time since I had been attacked by this emotion, and after much struggling, overcame it, thinking that I had managed to build up a strong immunity against it. I guess I am wrong. I allowed myself to fall into the trap that I myself have personally crafted. The best part is all of it simply happened unknowingly. And so now I fear. I fear that I might just lose control of this whole battle once again, coz succumbing to it would require more than just normal strength to recover. It happened before, I wish it will not happen again.

I know that if I can still type all of the above, I'm quite alright now. But this very emotion, once it starts inside me, I cannot just say 'STOP' and it simply ends there. It simply keeps going on and on, until a point when it could go no further, then can I act on it and fight back. Yes, I'm being very melodramatic over here. Can't help myself. Hai.

All I can say is that with past experiences of this battle, I must act now, and act fast upon detecting the symptoms of this emotion! For one, I'm quite decided on arranging some interview sessions with my upstairs. I guess I have to find someone whom I can trust well to commute my innermost views with. Especially when I'm referring to the all-too-sensitive TPO. And then I got to start finding stuff that could probably improve my situation lest it gets all too bad. Like that 'smile' thing my class gave me in 06. Oh man, I seriously love it!! It's a picture with photos of my friends smiling, with that logo for the IMF 06 Smile Singapore thing on it, and then getting me to smile! It's the sweetest thing Gloree and Berns did for me! Ha. Even thinking about it now makes me feel happier. Last but not least, get the contact numbers ready in case it goes beyond control.

It's inevitable that the battle must happen all over again. I shan't comment on the outcome. Wish me luck! :(



Depression: Psychiatry. a depression so severe as to be considered abnormal, either because of no obvious environmental causes, or because the reaction to unfortunate life circumstances is more intense or prolonged than would generally be expected.
It's obvious TPO is causing all of this nonsense!!!