A Depressing Ending

I can still recall how the beginning of this month started so well. Not only was my course given a night's off for the first time, but I also got into the vocation that I had hoped for, FA. Yet now, come to think of it, there is so much regret in me for choosing FA. All the "What If" keeps running through my head. Like "What if I was trained to be an FO instead of FA, I might probably be held back in AI now, enjoying an 8 to 5 job, with not much worries at hand, except completing the clerical work"! Isn't that so much better than all this nonsense that I have to go through now?!

Indeed, the month did not end as pleasantly as I wished it had. It seems that someone out there is just playing a joke on me, and a very great one for sure! It seriously felt like taking drugs; getting all high for a short period of time before starting to feel those uncomfortable withdrawal effects kicking in. If you don't get the picture, it means me being happy over getting into FA, but then even more depressed after that, when I got posted into 23.

And then the good things really have to just keep slipping out of my reach. As though 23 isn't enough, I was selected to join the most 'garang' bty in the unit; C bty! While so many of them (8 in total out of the 23 posted to 23 - what coincidence! -_-) got into HQ bty. When I say that, obviously it means much better life, coz they could simply OTOT in whatever they do. Unlike those posted to btys; we have to follow the gunners wherever they go. Furthermore, with the activities/events planned upcoming for C bty (which I think I should not elaborate here in case it's restricted information), all 5 of us in there seriously just sink into full depression! It's just plain unfair, since we all draw the same pay, but one side has to do more (shit) than the other. ARGHZ!

I tried to reason out for this recent series of unpleasant events occurring on me. In the end, I came up with this theory on how lucky I was with my 'A' Level grades, and so I have to pay back in someway somehow. It's like I'm really lucky to be able to get those grades that could guarantee me a seat in the subject that I wanted to study in university, as well as an optimistic future for the rest of life. All this, just based on my 'A' Levels! But I know there's downsides to being so lucky. And so it has finally came I guess; to get into 23, C bty, and suffer till I ORD. Well then, the only thing now that I can look forward to thus, is simply my ORD date! 110209!! Seriously can't wait!

On a positive light, I went for a medical appointment for my leg last Thursday. Doc sees a problem, but couldn't find a reason for it. Hence he request for an MRI scan of my spine! It's freaking expensive, like $825! Thankfully SAF would be paying for that humongous price. But that's not the point. Point is the price seems to be like a sign depicting my actual future in army, like an 8 to 5 job!! Haha. And to get that means having to down Pes all the way to Pes E so that I go Mindef! LOL. Well, maybe I'm just thinking too much. But at least there's still some hope. Ha!

And so this month didn't close as well too! All I can say is I hope I survive in my new place. Hence, good luck and all the best to me! Till then.